Frrrrrrrreak out

For the past month or so our seemingly sweet, easy-going little man has been incredibly high stung and nervous.   It all started with the tragedy in Connecticut.  His poor little mind had such a hard time comprehending why someone would do something so mean and scary. I am so grateful we talked to him before he heard about it from someone else.  As parents we talked to him about what he was hearing at school from classmates. We talked about safety and we talked about listening to grown-ups in emergency situations.  We thought we calmed his nerves but then he got "lost" at WalMart over Christmas break. It sent him into a tailspin.

For the past month he has been freaking out (like for real) whenever he is not able to be with his whole family. At the grocery store if we aren't all in the same isle there was instant tears and crying. If Jason wasn't home from the airport at the exact time I said he would be, Ansen would begin calling him over and over until he answered his phone. At a stake activity I had to be out of his sight for about 20 minutes.  He was sitting with friends of mine that he has known for years, as well as Kahau, and he lost all control of his emotions because there were "too many people for me to safely get to you."

I have to be honest. We all were trying to be as understanding as possible with him and his shot nerves but man alive the panic attacks were really starting to wear us down.  The girls were especially getting overwhelmed with him constantly keeping tabs on them.  They literally could not use the bathroom without him quietly waiting out side the door wondering if they were really in there and if they were alright.

My mother-in-law thought he needed to talk to a counselor.  While I didn't think that was a crazy idea I knew that most likely this was a phase and we just had to make him feel safe and let him know that we understood he was scared.  We made sure not to tell him he was being ridiculous or make him feel stupid for being worried.

I read up on Post Traumatic Stress in children and  started applying some coping skills.

1. We would make him keep track of his own time.  If someone was going to be gone for 1 hour we would say, "Dad's going to the store.  He will be back in 1 hour.  You can ask me about him 3 times and make 1 phone call to check on him.  You decide when you'd like to call."

2.  We would make him go run errands with one of us. Leaving us and returning to find that were all okay while he was gone was huge.

3.  Praying.  This probably worked the best and obviously it made me happy that it did so.  We have had lots of extra prayers this past month and it has been really special to hear him pray for his family members by name.

This past weekend was insanely busy.  We had 2 basketball games, 2 funerals (with accompanying family dinners to help set up and serve at), car shopping, a craft night, a missionary farewell, ward conference, and New Beginnings.  All of us would be running in different directions.  Ansen and I said a prayer on Friday afternoon and asked for Ansen to feel calm and safe.

Yesterday while we were getting ready for dinner Ansen looked at me in his sweet little voice and said "Mom our prayer worked perfect.  I haven't felt nervous all weekend."

Answered prayers are awesome.  I don't know that we are completely out of the woods yet with his freak outs but I think we are successfully on our way.